Trapped...

Before~~ I was such an active person!  Always feeling good, working, playing outside and having adventures with my family. How quickly it is taken away.  When I see normal people now I think about how they are so lucky to wake up every day and go about their lives.  I remember when I did that and I never even stopped to think about it or be thankful that I could function normally.  I remember complaining about all the silly little things in life.

Now~~ I look at life differently.  I am even embarrassed by this photo but it truly shows how yucky I have become.  I didn't even realize how terrible I looked!  Trapped, that's the one word that describes this horrible disease so thoroughly.  My person is trapped inside this prison that this bug has turned my once active, free, taken for granted body into.  Luckily I am a positive minded person and this has helped me through some dark periods.  I thank God everyday for my family for it is them that I have kept living for when it seemed like too much.  I am definitely one of the lucky ones.  Although my battle has only begun, I was very fortunate to find my answers sooner than later.  So many suffer with all of these "mystery" symptoms for even years before they get the help they need, if ever.  If it wasn't for the internet, my ability to use it to research it and my husband's commitment and love to help me, I don't think I would even be able to sit here and form a sentence.  From here on out I will refer to this lyme disease as the "hideous bug".  Lyme is too smooth of a word to describe something so awful.

Later~~ So there is a before and present time picture.  My humor has predicted this as the after, just for laughs.  The blessing in all of these hardships lately is that I think when I am well, I will truly be well.  Way more well than I ever was.  I have learned so much about my body, taking care of it and living a healthy lifestyle.  I think that my family will be healthier and I will be healthier in the end.  I will look and feel better than I did back before this hideous bug!  But, there is still so much to learn and then so much to still do to make myself healthy again.  It will come with time, patience, love and faith.