Why is it when things are really unpleasant, the day goes on forever? It feels like a slow torture and yet again, that word, Trapped. Day 2 of double dose doxy and although the first day was smooth with just some dizzy spells here and there, today has been rough.
I started out the day optimistic and went about some chores around the house. By noon, I was suffering. Dizzy, hurting, detached, emotional and depressed. Out of the blue. I drank a lot of lemon water and did another coffee enema. About 2 hours later, I feel a little better. Most days I don't eat anything until dinner. I juice vegetables for breakfast, snack and lunch. I drink a lot of tea and lemon water and a lot of cell food water. I do drink a very large amount of water! Although I have lost a lot of weight throughout being ill the last 7 months, I am now holding steady at about 108. I'm ok with it but definately don't want to lose anymore. I have lost so much muscle it is scary to me. I do feel like a gain a little strength but still there is absolutely no stamina. Both my muscles and my internal energy just give out after a short distance. On good days, I push. I want to regain my strength and endurance.
Today my ovaries are swollen and very very sore. I am supposed to go for a follow up ultra sound for comlex cysts. But at this point I don't have the money to spend on checking it out. I have a feeling this is all a result of the lyme anyway. If I can get them then hopefully this problem will go away. This sure is hard. I hope that I can start having more better days and less bad days, then maybe it won't seem so impossible. Maybe then I will hope for a life to live.
On the enemas, although they sound horrible and unpleasant, I can say desperation leads to desperate measures. It is all quite easy, actually. It helps, it feels good and just think of all the toxins you are getting rid of! This is definately something I will do on a maintenance schedule once I am well. I shoot for two per day right now. Today it was three.
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